Astro Corps Bios

Our Team of Astronauts

Riley_01_150Riley “Kat” Napper
Having been adopted after being found wandering aimlessly inside a string factory on the outskirts of Perth, Australia, Riley never quite fit in and soon gained the nickname “Kat” when her new family noticed her fondness for being rubbed behind the ears and curling up into a ball afterwards.

An otherwise strange child with a stern appearance and bearing, Kat also showed an unusual ability to perform complex tasks while upside down. One of her early teachers, after coaxing her down from the top of a bookcase, encouraged Kat to consider a career working in the low gravity and disorienting environment of space, to which Riley showed agreement by licking the hair on her arms.

With her uncanny grace and agility, Kat excels at every challenge presented to her. However, when questioned about what words she has for her followers, she simply began to chew on the interviewer’s pen, then quickly darted from the room as if startled. When she was next seen, she presented a note that said “Don’t let the opinions of others shape who you are. Be yourself – if it makes you happy, go for it!”

Yuri_01_150Yuri Kablamovic
Raised on a farm in the Ukraine, Yuri joined the Soviet Air Force after being orphaned due to a freak banana peel accident. Despite a resultant fear of tropical fruit, he quickly made a name for himself, rising through the ranks to become an accomplished pilot.

Continuing to gain recognition, he was offered the opportunity to undergo Cosmonaut training, which he completed in a record-shattering 6 minutes and 21 seconds, including a break for lunch. This feat led to his being selected for his first flight into space 2 hours later. Unfortunately, it also meant that he missed his favorite episoide of Gilligan’s Island, leaving him with a permanent scowl.

When asked what he enjoys most about space travel, Yuri states that his greatest reward is inspiring young people to pursue their dreams, no matter what circumstances may arise to sidetrack them.

Gene_01_150Gene Runamucker
Born into a prestigious family of world-class Zamboni racers, Gene had always planned to uphold the family tradition until seeing the word “rocket” spelled out in his Alpha-Bits one cold winter morning in Idaho.

Heeding this prophetic vision, Gene immediately began training, fast becoming known for running 47 miles every morning while juggling goldfish. One morning, though, while running past an Italian restaurant, he took a turn too fast and got poked in the jaw with a single strand of uncooked pasta, which is why he now always smiles, spaghetti being his favorite dish.

Gene’s advice for his fans? “There’s a place in the space industry for everyone, no matter their background, if they’re willing to work for it.”




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